Tips for The Holidays for People Interacting with People

"Tips for The Holidays for People Interacting with People," Michelle Kennedy Churchman offers guidance for navigating holiday interactions with caregivers, care recipients, and those grieving. The article emphasizes the importance of understanding, support, and respectful communication, providing practical advice for creating a more caring and inclusive holiday experience for everyone involved. These insights are essential for anyone looking to foster a kinder, more empathetic environment during the festive season.

Tips when visiting someone who is being cared for during the holidays.

Are you visiting someone being cared for by member of your family this week? Don’t be a jerk. Here’s some etiquette for your visit.

I can promise you the person(s) providing care is trying their very best. I can promise you, they are making themselves sick, they feel guilty, they are exhausted and they are struggling with anger, grief and depression. BE KIND.

Your hour visit is absolutely NOT the time to offer your “constructive” criticism. Instead, ask genuine questions about what has been happening in your loved one’s life and care journey. Caregivers are too overwhelmed to delegate effectively. Ask questions to learn where the caregiver is struggling.

Then SHUT UP AND LISTEN. We have one mouth and two ears for a reason.

Acknowledge all the hard work the caregiver is doing. Caregiving is lonely. Our caregivers often sacrifice the things that bring them joy, their social wellbeing, time with friends and family. Being seen as a human with needs and pain and joys separate from the person they’re caring for is important to their holistic health and wellbeing.

Watching and listening could reveal important ways you can provide help to the caregiver even if you aren’t nearby. Maybe they need help with the yard or garden, housekeeping, or home repairs? Tell them you can research and hire for these services.

You can hire an elder care doula or companionship care for a few hours of respite care a week for the caregiver, or if you are local, do that yourself. A woman I helped last week, made tuna salad, ate it while watching a television show she was missing, and took a bath. Those simple things can be so important for someone who gets very little rest due to constant awareness and alertness.

Don’t just be a “swooper” who swoops in only on special occasions, then “poops” on everything like some sort of animal and leaves. Talk to the caregiver as often as you can between visits. Because even if you don’t have a close relationship with the caregiver, if you love the care-receiver, you need to provide support for the caregiver. A cared for caregiver gives better care. It’s good for everyone.

Tips for caregivers who expect visitors during the holidays

Are you a caregiver and expecting visitors for Christmas? Make the visit more enjoyable for all with these tips.

1. Communicate. Talk to visitors before they come and tell them about changes in their loved one’s health or situation since last visit.

2. Clarify and establish boundaries. Most caregivers and care receivers have a schedule and any disruptions can have detrimental effects for all parties’ health and happiness. Let visitors know if it’s time eat, for toileting or bed.

3. Prepare activities that visitors can do with the care recipient.

4. Remember that the visitor also cares about and loves the person receiving the care. Even if you don’t get along, try to communicate in a way to create connections that benefit your loved one.

5. Be patient and understanding. The person visiting could feel guilty because they cannot provide more time or support for their loved one.

6. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to ask for help. If the visitor wants to know how they may assist you to better care for their loved one, don’t let the opportunity pass without asking for what you need to care for yourself, your home and the care recipient.

7. Do not take criticisms personally. Yes, it is aggravating and infuriating when an outsider swoops in insisting they have the answers and better solutions for the things you are doing every single minute of every day. But, you know what you’re doing is important, it is your life that you are living every day. AND you are ROCKING IT! Don’t let the turkeys get you down!

Have a good holiday and be kind to yourself. You got this. Love you, Boo!

Holidays aren’t always happy for many of us. If you know someone you are celebrating with is grieving, please be kind and supportive.

Here are tips for sharing time with someone experiencing grief this season.

1. Be Present:

Simply being there for your friend, offering your company and a listening ear, and allowing them to express their thoughts and feelings without judgment

2. Acknowledge Their Loss:

Don't shy away from mentioning the person who died. Sharing stories and memories can be a meaningful way to keep their spirit alive.

3. Respect Their Wishes:

Everyone grieves differently, and the holiday season may bring up a mix of emotions. Respect your friend's wishes and feelings, even if they choose to skip certain traditions or gatherings. Understanding and flexibility are key.

4. Create a Safe Space:

Create a safe and judgment-free space for your friend to share their feelings. Grieving during the holidays can be isolating, so ensuring they feel comfortable expressing their emotions is crucial.

5. Include Their Loved One in Remembrance:

Find thoughtful ways to include their loved one in holiday traditions. This could be lighting a candle in their memory, creating a memorial ornament, or sharing stories about them during festive gatherings.

If you’re missing someone this holiday season, please allow me to remember them with you. Share the name of your person and we’ll share a toast in their name.

Author: Michelle Kennedy Churchman | Departure Doula | Shoji Bridge

Michelle, Departure Doula, provides compassionate planning and non-medical holistic care for life’s transitions and journeys.

Author Contact: https://linktr.ee/shojibridge